this is not worth reading, so skip it.

Frankly, my dear, i don’t give a damn!

some frequently misquoted little movie

Pretty tired today and not really in the mood to write. Not exactly sure what’s going on, guess its just a bit of overwhelm.  I seem to be crying quite a bit and perhaps I have lost some boundaries. Not quite sure how to handle the whole deal is coming down. very very tired. unsettled. overwhelmed, just going to give myself a break today. Learn to trust myself.  Living inwardly in a high state of anxiety. Anxiety over what. I live in an amazing world with wonderful people and ample opportunity to do magnificent things. Why do I have to do amazing and wonderful things anyway. Why can’t i just live a normal life and not have to lead myself or anyone else for that matter? this pity party is pitiful.

Why are things mine to do and are they really. Just because you can doesn’t necessarily mean you should. And how big is my ego that i just have to share what i think i know with the world. why can’t i just live quietly and warmly with friends, go on talking with my dear ones for hours, retreating from the world, hiding in my home for days on end.  who says i must do anything at all with the knowledge I have worked so diligently to acquire? Would the world really care if i don’t publish those videos? If I don’t reach out to help wake people up? If I don’t help people understand the dynamics of themselves so they can change themselves for their enjoyment. Really, Lisa, if you just hung out and played it small like you have been, you can skate through life without a lot of hassle. wouldn’t underwhelm be better than overwhelm?  your golf game sucks lately.

What part of you seriously thinks you have to get this stuff out to the larger public? How large is your ego, girl?  The stuff is not new. Nothing really is new. So just what is it that drives you to even be writing this blog?  OK so you invested in mentorship and your mentor says write daily. yeah for you, Lisa, You’ve done fairly well. not outstanding–for sure not perfectly-you write longer than 30 minutes and you aren’t doing random quotes and hardly anyone wants to read your diatribes any way.  what makes you think the crap you spew out is interesting to anyone–its barely of interest to you! jeez, give us a break lady.

Say goodnite, and get some rest. give it a rest.

i picked this photo from a random list of jpg and don't even know what it is.
i picked this photo from a random list of jpg and don’t even know what it is.

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