It is pointless to enter into discussion with people who will accept only the validity of proofs that already lie within their personal mode of thought.

Rudolf Steiner

Am I accepting as valid only that which I already believe is true and dismissing all else?  Will I truly only agree with someone who is in my own “choir” and do I argue or debate if they are not on the same wave length as I?

When we seek to connect with other humans, we tend to like our self in the other. When someone agrees with our philosophy, sense of taste, political stance, approach to any task, we find it easy to experience a connection with them. We feel a rapport grow that unites us to each other. When we encounter people with radically different senses of taste, or politics, of color or creed, many of us are challenged to accept their validity as divinely empowered human beings. How often are we quick to judge and condemn the other, such that no amount of discussion will ever win us over?  If I am not open to curiosity, how will I ever grow beyond the me I am today?  If I do not listen and explore the possibilities that are outside my existing field of thoughts, how can we have a meaningful discussion where our unique perspectives can be expressed without the need to be right?

So many people converse without truly taking in the exchange and position themselves so that they must use little negations of a person’s life and declare their own to be superior.  Its subtle and goes something like this:  Mary says she rarely sleeps well after a full meal. Kathy says: No, I sleep great after I eat.  Why must Kathy say No? She has just denied Mary’s entire personal experience.  What is that in us that invites us to deny another’s contribution to a discussion, before we proffer our own unique response? What if we were to say YES! AND, how interesting because I experience it this way.

Well, I am pretty sleepy after I ate a lovely meal, so yes, I am off to experience some rest.

Meanwhile, think about whether you unconsciously negate another’s sharing by offering how you respond differently under the circumstances.  Just witness yourself and if you wish to change it, I will be curious to hear how it affects you and your rapport with others.